Living Life on Your Own Terms

It's just not a good use of your life to hang on. Think big, act big. Release what is not yours to carry. Don't be afraid to move on.

Give yourself permission to do this. Give yourself permission to "lighten up."

Because it is only when you lighten up that you will fly.

This something I have spoken about before and a good time to talk about it again. Because so many people on graduating high school and going on to college, or graduating college and planning for their future careers.

As a young children we depend on our parents to make the right decisions for us. As teenagers we rebel because we are beginning to want to take control of our lives and the responsibility of making the decisions for ourselves. 

Often this creates conflict with parents because they feel they know best. Parents need to learn to encourage their children to think for themselves and teach them how to weigh the of pros and cons to make the right decisions.

The problem is that some parents find it difficult to let go. They like the control they have and they refused to relinquish it even for their children who are grown adults. I grew up in such a situation:

In the early 1950s until the 1970s, when Congress started to enact laws giving people with disabilities rights, society didn't even recognize its disability community. There were no laws guaranteeing people with disabilities the right to an education or the right to employment until the Americans with Disabilities Act passed in 1990.

My mother would have treated me this way anyway, but because the society didn't recognize the disability community, my mother felt this gave her a right to control my life and make my decisions for me. The biggest conflicts we had with each other was who would make the decisions for me--I refused to relinquish that control to her. Now that she is no longer around, my younger sister, who has always disrespected her sisters with disabilities, has taken over where my mother left off.

Being independent and controlling your own life is a choice you make. The reason I am telling this story is to show that I'm not unique. There are many parents who have conflicts with their children over who controls their life.

The problem is that each person has their own behavioral style. As an introvert it is easy to let others control your life. We may not show how it affects us outwardly, but the actions we take shows how it affects us inwardly.

This can lead to someone having insecurities and low self-esteem, which makes it difficult for them to make the right decisions, without doubting themselves. This is why as an adult it is important to learn to take control of your life, and how to make the right decisions.

When an individual has self confident they make the right choices when it comes to employment. Especially in this new economy. The older generation wants everything to stay the same forever in the workplace and find it difficult to change with the times. Since were gainfully employed during the industrial age, where you worked for someone else and earned a salary, they expect their children to do the same. Their children, grew up using computers and technology, therefore, it is much easier for them to adapt to the new economy.

The older generation expects the government to create jobs that don't exist anymore, instead of learning how to harness the technology and use it to create opportunities. Therefore, for someone whom has allowed others to control them, they grow up having the same expectations as their parents. For people who have controlled themselves and their lifestyle, they have learned to adapt to the new economy and create their own opportunities in employment.

Ms. Shensky is a professional speaker. writer, and coach. As a Career Coach she works with clients to help them find their passion and build it into a high paying career. As a Life Coach she works with clients discover their limiting beliefs the subconsciously put the brakes on and prevent them from reaching one's goals.

She holds an AAS in Mental Health and BA in Psychology and attended a Masters program in Rehabilitation Counseling. She attended Toastmasters where she received both the CTM and ATM certifications and participated in the NSA-GA Chapter mentoring program. She attended the American Seminar Leaders Association University where she received the Certified Seminar Leader (CSL) certification. She attended Stores Online presentation to learn about Internet Marketing. She has used her real life experiences to established a NPO--International Disabled Entrepreneurs, Inc. (IDE, Inc.) to teach people with disabilities the skills needed to have their own business.

Article Source: Davida Shensky

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